Wow, it feels like a million years since I wrote last. Summer has been crazy busy and I've had a few setbacks that stopped me from wanting to write. I decided I needed to write about those setbacks if I want to move forward. Writing has been a therapy for me and so I've decided to keep going...
The nurses were moving into my room every hour... so it seemed. All I wanted to do was sleep. It was so hard for me to focus on anything or get myself to move. Two nurses came in about 10:00 that night and decided I needed to sit up. I had just had major abdominal surgery just hours before... and they want me to do what? They had to help me pull my legs over the edge of the bed and each held my arms to lift me off the bed. I was annoyed. In this moment I flashed back to an eeriely similar moment just a couple years prior.
Two nurses were on either side of my husband trying to lift him up to sit him up for the first time after his surgery. This was his second day in ICU and was just coming to. I recall how unsteady he was. He has always been my strong protector, and in this moment he looked so vulnerable and weak. He was so fragile and barely made it up the first time. I wondered if he was just as annoyed then as I was now.
My husband just underwent brain surgery for an aucostic-neuroma brain tumor and was now in the hospital recovering. I never imagined we'd be in this same position more than once. But here I was... just like him.. both diagnosed with cancer at 29 years old.
As I was sitting up, annoyed at the nurses and thinking of my husband, I wondered why God decided that BOTH of us would go though this. Didn't our family go through enough yet?
I realize now that I asked myself "Why?" quite often at that stage. Since then I've decided that God must think we're pretty tough to put us through this twice so young. You know the saying... "God only gives you what He knows you can handle."
Yep... we're pretty tough.
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