Doesn't cancer have an age limit??

We made our first out-of-town trip with a newborn when Tyson was just 3 weeks old. It was just for one day, but we packed enough diapers for a week. We headed out to Spokane for my first oncology gynecology doctor appointment. Tyson slept the entire way there, of course I knew as soon as we got there he would wake up and be hungry, which he did and was. This makes any new mom nervous.

As I walked into the waiting lobby I was a nervous wreck. I B-lined it straight to the receptionist. For some reason I was nervous that people would see me.... not sure why... we were all there for the same reason. I turned in all my paperwork they had previously sent me, like it was homework for the teacher. I made sure it was all complete exactly how they wanted. I went to find a seat in the lobby, as I sat down and started observing the room I realized I was the youngest person there. You could tell who the sick ones were. They had lost there hair and were covering their heads with scarves, or they were weak and feeble in a wheel chair, unable to use their strength to walk. And, they were all much older than I was. I started imagining what other people were thinking of me. "Is she at the right place?" "Doesn't she know this is an oncologist not a pediatrician?" "Oh, I feel so bad for her, what a shame." "So young..."

As we were waiting, Tyson, of course, got squirmy and wanted food. We took him out of his car seat to try and give him formula for the first time, that was a joke. He wanted nothing to do with it. As we took him out an older lady sitting next to us turned to coo at Tyson. She looked like she was in her 60's. She had lost all her hair and had a colorful scarf covering her head. She was kind and looked happy, despite everything I can imagine she's already been through. My nerves took over and I couldn't respond to her like any normal person. I tried to show a fake smile, but I'm sure she saw right through it. I was nervous for the upcoming appointment, but more nervous that Tyson refused to eat formula and needed to nurse him right away or all hell was going to break loose. I knew the minute I started feeding him they would call my name for my appointment. I decided to go ask them how long I would have before being called in.

They decided I needed my own room. Thank you Lord! I really didn't want to nurse Tyson in front of everyone.

The doctor came and found me while I was still nursing Tyson. She looked my age. Young and full of energy. She let me finish with Tyson and then took me to her office. She started explaining what was going on in my body and explained what our next step needed to be. She was the first person that looked me in the eyes and said "You have ovarian cancer." That's when it hit me. I started crying in her office. I also tried to stop crying in her office. I didn't want her to see me so vulnerable.

Our next step was surgery. We needed to find out if the cancer had spread or if it was contained to one area. We also needed to remove any chances of cancer coming back in the future. This meant everything had to come out.

I decided I needed a little talk with cancer. Aren't I too young for this? Too young to have to make these decisions? Too tired with a newborn to make sense of all this?

I realized I was saying "why me? why me? why me?" a lot. It must have been annoying. Even I was annoyed! That's when I knew I could handle this. That's why it was me.

That's when I also decided that I needed to kick cancer in the butt.


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